Incels: The Flawed Tactics Behind a Disturbing Subculture

Andrew Thomas, a scholar from Swansea University and a recognized authority on involuntary celibacy among young men, commonly referred to as incel culture, suggests that relationship counseling could assist these individuals in moving away from harmful ideologies. Thomas emphasizes that coaching focused not only on dating but also on developing genuine interpersonal relationships could potentially redirect many socially isolated young men away from the incel subculture. This approach presents a promising avenue for change.

While Thomas acknowledges that some “dark personality” types among incels—those exhibiting psychopathic, narcissistic, or extreme right-wing traits—may be beyond help, he believes that many otherwise well-meaning but introverted young men are grappling with traditional adolescent challenges related to identity and social connection. The contemporary landscape, however, presents unique obstacles, including a constant barrage of negative influences and the evolving expectations of young women, who are increasingly reluctant to engage with partners who display anger, confusion, or a lack of hygiene as they navigate their own maturity.

Two perplexing aspects of the incel phenomenon stand out. Firstly, one might wonder why these individuals publicly lament their lack of sexual experiences instead of maintaining silence on the matter, as was common in past generations. Traditionally, young men would downplay such issues, choosing to embellish their limited experiences or simply avoid the topic altogether. In contrast, today’s incels form communities that openly broadcast their perceived failures—perhaps interpreting this as a form of bravery. However, this strategy may not be the most effective.

Secondly, incels’ tendency to attribute their frustrations to women rather than reflecting on their personal circumstances is notable. During my own formative years, frustrations with romantic prospects were typically directed inward, focusing on self-improvement rather than placing blame on the opposite sex. Some opted for fitness, grooming, or upgrading their wardrobes, while others realized that being kind could enhance their appeal. The idea that unmet sexual needs are a right denied to them reflects a troubling viewpoint that warrants further exploration. The prevalence of pornography may contribute to this distorted perspective.

Incels are partially correct in observing that women are choosing to remain single longer, often for their own reasons rather than out of malice. Modern women are less inclined to settle for inadequate partners who are overly focused on distractions like video games or unresolved personal issues. As women excel in various fields—academically, financially, and emotionally—young men continue to lag behind. It is imperative for these young men to prioritize self-improvement rather than lament their situation.

Danny Dyer: Crossing Boundaries

I have always found Danny Dyer, the East London actor, to be a unique character who has made the most of his limited acting abilities. His public persona, filled with Cockney slang like “diabolical liberty” and “moody gear,” adds to his charm. I particularly enjoyed his appearance on Who Do You Think You Are?, where he humorously commented on his royal relative’s castle.

However, Dyer has recently crossed a line. During his podcast Live and Let Dyers, co-hosted with his daughter Dani Dyer, he disclosed that he had not been intimate with his wife, Joanne Mas, for several months. His candid remarks about their sex life should have remained private, especially in front of their children.

Celebrity Parenting Trends

In other celebrity news, rapper Cardi B has extravagant plans for her children, Kulture and Wave, gifting them lavish “Easter baskets” overflowing with presents. This American tradition has gained traction, although Cardi noted her own lack of such experiences growing up. Many in the UK share a similar story regarding this ritual, indicating a shift in cultural practices fueled by American influences.

It’s worth noting that many traditions and celebrations that are commonplace today, such as proms or gender reveal parties, were virtually nonexistent just a few decades ago. The introduction of Easter baskets is yet another example of American culture permeating British life, showcasing the evolving nature of seasonal celebrations and consumerism.