The Everyday Irritations That Drain Us

This week, research has revealed that “micro-stresses” — such as being caught in traffic, misplacing your keys, or enduring video buffering while watching a film — can result in fatigue comparable to significant life events. A psychologist noted, “Our brains are not equipped for continual low-level friction.” I find that mine has become accustomed to it. Perhaps it wasn’t always this way, but years of conditioning have made it so.

People often advise, “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” and I once attempted to grapple with larger issues, such as the concept of mortality. I found this exercise unsettling and have since resolved to focus on the small annoyances — and sometimes, I’ll add onions to that list. I perpetually feel irked, leading to a constant sense of fatigue, yet I accept this as the cost of avoiding deeper existential questions. My existence seems tied to these “micro-stresses.”

These include: Netflix recommendations that miss the mark completely; commuters who reserve the seat next to them with a bag while others are forced to stand; television series that spend excessive time previewing what’s next and summarizing what happened before a break, leaving barely any actual content; stopping for a pedestrian at a zebra crossing, only to receive an unwanted “thank you” (It’s the law!); Tube passengers oblivious to “stand clear of the closing doors,” even as the doors repeatedly attempt to shut on them; whatever comments come from Robert Jenrick; Disney’s trend of recasting their heroines as empowered figures; discarded chicken bones on the sidewalk, posing a choking hazard for dogs; insecurities about my upper arms; insurance companies that inflate premiums annually; the phrase “please place the correct item in the bagging area”; referring to Andrew Tate merely as an “online influencer” instead of how many would prefer to describe him; and pedestrians who do not show gratitude at crosswalks (considered impolite).

Moreover: that new sign on buses encouraging riders to “Thank your driver. It will make their day” (what’s next, a kiss on the cheek?); grimy bathroom grout; hard-boiled eggs stubbornly clinging to their shells; cinematic trailers that reveal entire plots; men with bald heads who maintain a single ponytail; hearing lengthy accounts of books that someone doesn’t wish to read for their book club (just quit!); overpriced fruit labeled as “ripe and ready;” mixed responses to social issues following the Liverpool incident; plums sold with the promise to “ripen at home” that never do; emails from the wrong Deborah Ross regarding her car and dental reviews; parents who leave restaurants in disarray for staff to clean; recipes that don’t resemble the illustrated version; housemates who leave barely any juice in the carton; persistent scam calls; the unsettling gap between train platforms and the trains (what if I were to fall?); and the hospital consultant who offers a helpline number yet acknowledges no one answers or returns calls.

And now, has Robert Jenrick made yet another statement? Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s aggravating too.

(My book, “Sweat the Small Stuff and Let It Control Your Life,” can be found in various bookstores.)

Jenrick’s Cultural Missteps

Regarding Robert Jenrick, picking a favorite moment is quite challenging given the numerous options available. After careful consideration, I think my top choice would be his web chat with Mumsnet concerning women’s rights. The unfortunate reality is that he struggles to navigate the cultural dialogues correctly.

The discussion began reasonably well. When asked how he would safeguard women’s rights in female-only spaces such as prisons and rape crisis centers, he was queried whether biological sex should sometimes take precedence over transgender identities for safety and privacy.

Jenrick responded affirmatively, emphasizing the need for kindness and clarity regarding what defines a woman. However, when asked about individuals who have transitioned and possess a gender recognition certificate, he found it “tricky” and commented on the necessity to distinguish between transmen and women. His views sparked confusion and highlighted his grasp of appropriate terms as inadequate, especially in the context of the discussion. He further expressed concerns surrounding transmen competing in men’s sports, which many have found problematic.